Goodbye..

Saturday, 23rd March 2019

Yesterday was a great day. But we’re still in reality and I still need to go back to Kyoto. I feel a little unsettled having left my belongings in the Kyoto apartment for 2 nights. We didn’t say much about our plans or our feelings for each other. Everything is so uncertain. Well.. I’m leaving in 2 days right? So.. what can possibly happen? We need more time..

Javier has to work today so he is going to drop me off at the train station near his office. When we were at the bus stop, he saw my love bite on the neck. I made out with this dude in Tokyo, just a day before I met Javier. I didn’t know that I was gonna meet him. I didn’t know that I was gonna fall in love. I thought he has seen it already apparently he did not until now. He looked so angry.. I tried to explain that it happened before I met him and I didn’t sleep with that guy. (Well, technically) but the explanation didn’t help at all.

I felt so angry at myself. And of course this has to happen just before we part ways. Javier said he will come to kyoto to spend time with me but he didn’t say when and we didn’t fix anything up. I felt like he was just saying that so that it’s not awkward. I don’t think he is coming to kyoto to meet me.. he didn’t even want to send me off to kyoto yesterday cause he was lazy. And the love bite, yeah right, I would be crazy to think he wants anything more with me.

I felt so sad on the bus to the train station. I sat down on the seat while he stood next to me. I held his hand close to my cheeks, I have to remember this moment and this man. These few days we spent together were so magical.

We got off the bus and I told myself I am not gonna cry, not gonna say anything stupid and not gonna make an embarrassing scene again. Just play it cool and say goodbye. He said, “thanks for coming to visit me. Text me.” I smiled, gave him a friendly hug and I said, “goodbye”.