Arashiyama Bamboo Grove

Saturday, 23rd March 2019

I’m already on the train going towards Kyoto. I miss Javier so much. I kept texting him and I wonder if he would find me annoying.. but I couldn’t help myself if I tried.

There was a group of tourist on the train going to Osaka Castle. They asked me for directions and we small-talked a little. I told Javier about it on text. He gave a very strange reply. He told me to have fun going to Osaka Castle with them and something about having fun with another guy. What was that about?

My plan for today was to have the ramen from this ramen shop near my kyoto apartment (they always have Long queues everytime I pass by) and then heading out to Arashiyama Bamboo Grove.

Going to the Bamboo Grove and being in the nature really helped me feel a little better. It was a little crowded at the foot of the park but as you go higher, it gets quieter and less crowded. I found a spot with such a breathtaking view. The weather was a tad too cold, I was freezing. At that moment, I felt blessed, blessed that I was able to travel here to see this view, blessed that I had all the things I need, blessed that I have people who love me and blessed that I am alive.

I got a little lost walking around the grove, it’s quite a big place. It’s not a great trip until you get lost in a foreign country right? Hahaha. Finally, after much navigations, I found my direction back to the train station. I stopped by for a sashimi and tempura udon at a restaurant near the Arashiyama Bamboo Grove station.

We didn’t really text much after we parted ways. Partly cause he was working. I wasn’t thinking about him that much when I was out. When I got home and settled down though, I miss him so badly. Javier told me that he realised that he still likes to look at girls on the street but he doesn’t feel like he wants anything with them anymore. I don’t know what he was driving at. I feel so confused as to what our status is currently and how he feels about me.

He stopped replying me after awhile. I was staring at my phone and checking for new messages every minute.. This is not right. I need to stop myself from being obsessive like this. It was 9pm he was already off work so he is probably busy with something or someone. Who am I to him anyway right? He is definitely free to do whatever he wants. I turned off my phone and forced myself to sleep.