I’m so excited to meet him at Kyoto station for a full-day date today! C: Now that I extended my trip in Japan, it’s like a huge weight off my shoulders.
I was waiting anxiously for him at the station and when I saw him, I walked up to him and held his arm against my chest so tight. This is what I need.. C:
We decided to walk from Kyoto station to Fushimi Inari, it took us around an hour. I was telling him the random job opportunity at a local bakery. Time flew by.
Today’s plan was to visit the famous Fushimi Inari and Gion Street! I’m so excited for Gion Street, it’s a heritage street and supposedly filled with apprentice and real Geshas. Hopefully I get to see one.
I didn’t expect a hiking session when we got to Fushimi Inari. Haha. Even though the temperature was very chill (maybe 12-20 degree celcius) but I was perspiring a lot and panting so much going up. It’s quite embarrassing showing him my unfit side. Thank god it was a manageable hike up. It was a lot nicer on top as there were lesser people and more privacy for us.
Entrance of Fushimi Inari (so crowded!) Passed by a pretty lake
After hiking all the way up the hill, we had a longgg walk where I talked a lot. Perhaps too much. Afterall, it is my tendency to share too much too quick, to just be too much to handle.. I was almost certain I had scared him away.
So beautiful from above We shared a stunning sunset Pretty flowers
For dinner, we went to a mall in Kyoto and we had Teppanyaki. Yums! This part of the memory is a little foggy. My side of story.. I remember asking him.. so what are we? He said, “you’re my girlfriend duh!”
In my heart, there were million fireworks exploding! Hahaha. I’m his girlfriend now….? *blush*
I had such a good sleep. It’s so awesome to sleep in on a vacation!! Oh, and then I remember Javier. I’m so scared to check my phone. What if he didn’t reply me at all? Oh well! After lazing in bed for awhile, I plucked up my courage to look at my phone.
He sent me a message shortly after I slept. Then he sent me a few other messages late at night saying he missed me!! He said he missed me..
He said he was gonna come to Kyoto today but there was no follow-up on that though. Is he coming or not? It was already 11am. If he really means it when he said he is coming to meet me, wouldn’t he set a time, an approximate time at least? That’s what I would do. He is probably just saying that he is coming to be nice.. I told him he doesn’t need to come to Kyoto if he doesn’t want to. I’m totally cool with it. Thought I would just relief him so he wouldn’t feel bad.
He got very concerned and confused. He said he wants to call me to talk. By then, I was already crying my eyes out. It hurts so bad.. I felt like I was going through a breakup. I know it sounds ridiculous to most people considering we only met for few days. But we really connected on a deep level and I know I would never have this feeling or experience with anyone else.
I told him I’m crying and I can’t talk. He called me a few times. I finally calmed down and called him. He explained to me that he wants to see me so bad, he felt like there is something beautiful between us and the apartment felt so empty without me. He also told me that he was definitely gonna come see me but he was waiting for a lady to come pick up his sofa. Even though I was gonna leave the next day to Singapore but he just wants to at least spend all the time with me he can so we can have more memories together.
I was crying so bad. & he asked me to tell him how I felt. We started baring our hearts out and telling each other our feelings for each other. We both felt that something amazing between us. We don’t know how or where this relationship would head to but we want to spend all the time we can together. I felt so much better now that I know he feels the same way I do.
I looked at the calendar on my phone, my work starts on 1st April 2019. So technically I don’t need to be home before that. I had a reckless idea to fly home one week later so I can spend the rest of the time with him. It’s crazy I know.. but with all my heart, I felt like that was the right thing to do. I don’t want to have any regrets or what ifs. Even if this doesn’t work out, I know it would be a time of my life that I would cherish forever.
For now, I just want to love him. And I booked a flight very quickly while I was on the phone with him. Hahaha. So quickly that I didn’t even realise it was an one-stop flight.
Whilst we were on the phone, his door bell rang. It was the lady to pick up the couch! Wow, it’s like all stars aligned for us. He hung up and said he would be on the way to Kyoto now after he is settled with the couch.
And.. everything just seems to be rainbow and sunshine again! I feel so happy, he makes me so happy. C:
I’m already on the train going towards Kyoto. I miss Javier so much. I kept texting him and I wonder if he would find me annoying.. but I couldn’t help myself if I tried.
There was a group of tourist on the train going to Osaka Castle. They asked me for directions and we small-talked a little. I told Javier about it on text. He gave a very strange reply. He told me to have fun going to Osaka Castle with them and something about having fun with another guy. What was that about?
My plan for today was to have the ramen from this ramen shop near my kyoto apartment (they always have Long queues everytime I pass by) and then heading out to Arashiyama Bamboo Grove.
Going to the Bamboo Grove and being in the nature really helped me feel a little better. It was a little crowded at the foot of the park but as you go higher, it gets quieter and less crowded. I found a spot with such a breathtaking view. The weather was a tad too cold, I was freezing. At that moment, I felt blessed, blessed that I was able to travel here to see this view, blessed that I had all the things I need, blessed that I have people who love me and blessed that I am alive.
Arashiyama Bamboo Grove
I got a little lost walking around the grove, it’s quite a big place. It’s not a great trip until you get lost in a foreign country right? Hahaha. Finally, after much navigations, I found my direction back to the train station. I stopped by for a sashimi and tempura udon at a restaurant near the Arashiyama Bamboo Grove station.
Dinner @ INOUE
We didn’t really text much after we parted ways. Partly cause he was working. I wasn’t thinking about him that much when I was out. When I got home and settled down though, I miss him so badly. Javier told me that he realised that he still likes to look at girls on the street but he doesn’t feel like he wants anything with them anymore. I don’t know what he was driving at. I feel so confused as to what our status is currently and how he feels about me.
He stopped replying me after awhile. I was staring at my phone and checking for new messages every minute.. This is not right. I need to stop myself from being obsessive like this. It was 9pm he was already off work so he is probably busy with something or someone. Who am I to him anyway right? He is definitely free to do whatever he wants. I turned off my phone and forced myself to sleep.
Yesterday was a great day. But we’re still in reality and I still need to go back to Kyoto. I feel a little unsettled having left my belongings in the Kyoto apartment for 2 nights. We didn’t say much about our plans or our feelings for each other. Everything is so uncertain. Well.. I’m leaving in 2 days right? So.. what can possibly happen? We need more time..
Javier has to work today so he is going to drop me off at the train station near his office. When we were at the bus stop, he saw my love bite on the neck. I made out with this dude in Tokyo, just a day before I met Javier. I didn’t know that I was gonna meet him. I didn’t know that I was gonna fall in love. I thought he has seen it already apparently he did not until now. He looked so angry.. I tried to explain that it happened before I met him and I didn’t sleep with that guy. (Well, technically) but the explanation didn’t help at all.
I felt so angry at myself. And of course this has to happen just before we part ways. Javier said he will come to kyoto to spend time with me but he didn’t say when and we didn’t fix anything up. I felt like he was just saying that so that it’s not awkward. I don’t think he is coming to kyoto to meet me.. he didn’t even want to send me off to kyoto yesterday cause he was lazy. And the love bite, yeah right, I would be crazy to think he wants anything more with me.
I felt so sad on the bus to the train station. I sat down on the seat while he stood next to me. I held his hand close to my cheeks, I have to remember this moment and this man. These few days we spent together were so magical.
We got off the bus and I told myself I am not gonna cry, not gonna say anything stupid and not gonna make an embarrassing scene again. Just play it cool and say goodbye. He said, “thanks for coming to visit me. Text me.” I smiled, gave him a friendly hug and I said, “goodbye”.
We got back to the apartment in the afternoon. Javier was very tired and stuffed from the lunch though. And he said he didn’t feel like going to Kyoto today. It’s around an hour train ride from Osaka to Kyoto. But of course he will feel lazy to go to Kyoto and back. I understand.. so I said I will stay another night. Cause I really don’t want to leave if given a choice.
We laid in bed watching Games of Thrones episodes in between making love, snuggling and kisses. Gosh before we knew it, the sun was down. We had been in bed all day.
I googled questions to ask to get to know someone new. We began talking about random stuff.. about our ideals, beliefs, past relationships, childhood and all of that. We weren’t really doing anything, just talking. But it was good fun. I love talking to him! C:
We took a personality quiz online. It was quite a long questionnaire but I wanted us to do it. Turns out we have the exact personality type! OMG! That must mean something right? I have never met someone who is also an INFP. Maybe we’re meant to be..? (Hahaha)
Then I saw cotton buds (or q-tips as he calls it hahaha) lying on his side table so I asked if he would mind me cleaning my ears. He said he wanted to do that too but he thought that I would mind. So we both started cleaning our ears together. Hahaha. Javier said, “Let me tell you a random fact! Did you know that Asians have dry ear shit and westerners have wet ones?” I was like, “No way.. bullshit!” Before we know it, we were having an ear digging competition to compare our ear shits. There was a moment when we realised how stupid we look and we both burst out laughing cracking up. I looked at him with tears from laughters and thought, “Gawd, I think I love this guy… what do I do!”
The more I dwell in that thought, the sadder and heavier I felt. This feels like an unreal dream. A dream that I will wake up soon. I don’t want to wake up. I started tearing up, I tried to wipe it off pretending it was just tears from the laughers then out they pour more. I couldn’t stop sobbing and crying. This is absolutely embarrassing. I don’t know how he feels about all these. If it’s just a hookup to him, I would look so dumb, emotional and amateur. What kind of girl cries like this in a stranger’s bed after hooking up?
He was taken aback for sure. He asked me why am I crying. I told him I feel so so sad thinking that I would leave him tomorrow. I kept apologising and insisting I don’t mean to cry. I felt so embarrassed showing my vulnerable side. After all, we still just met.
He replied calmly, “please don’t apologise. I’m glad that you are crying. It shows me that you really care. You can’t fake this.” I wasn’t really listening to the words cause I was busy trying to stop my tears. On hindsight, how strange that he said that. What does that even mean? So he is glad I care? Does that mean he cares too?
I spent the night in Osaka at Javier’s apartment last night. I reckon I would have to go back to Kyoto today considering my passport, backpack and belongings are all still in my Airbnb.
Javier has a lunch appointment with his co-workers today. So he would be bringing me to the mall and meeting me again when he is done.
It’s very strange cause when we were walking on the streets, I really felt like he was my boyfriend already. I barely know this guy! My brain is telling me you’re being stupid. My heart however can’t deny that there is something special here, something I can’t explain.
While he left to enjoy his buffet, I walked around the mall to pass time. I saw this matcha specialty cafe and decided to check it out.
Matcha green tea and matcha shaved ice dessert @ Tsuboichi Seicha
He texted me shortly after on LINE chat. Then I didn’t hear from him again. I was thinking, “So far, all our awesome chemistry we’re all face to face interactions. Will things change when we’re not physically together?”
I sent Javier pictures of the desserts I was having. He said to leave him some. I was excited! Yay, he is gonna join me and we will have a café date. C: I waited and waited but he didn’t get back to me.
Finally, after more than 2 hours, Javier sent me a text apologising for the long wait and he said he would have to stay for a little more. Okay.. he is not joining me. I was a little sad. (Haha I know, i’m so sensitive)
I left the café and started walking around the grocery stores at the basement. Javier texted me shortly after saying he was done.
We made our way back to his apartment. All this time, I was feeling a little sad and heavy. Cause we were supposed to go back to the apartment to pack and I will need to go back to Kyoto. Will he even send me off? Will I see him again..?
On the bus, Javier was sharing with me this movie called, “After Sunset”. He said he would really want to watch that with me. He was explaining to me the plot and how the male lead thought that the romance would be like summer love.
I asked, “what’s summer love?” He said, “You know.. when kids have summer breaks, they fall in love for that few months. Then sometimes people go back to school, move back home or just move on with their lives after summer. That’s summer love.”
I seemed to have known him forever even though we had just met. Everything flows so well. We.. made love. & after that, we laid in bed together. I felt so happy and contented just laying in bed with him. Is it delusion? Or does he also feel the same..?
He was really excited when I said I was watching “Flash” on Netflix, like his face lit up! So cute. He got me started on watching Games of Thrones. It was so good watching shows with him in bed. I never want this to end.
I felt my tummy rumbling. I realised we have been so absorbed with each other that I forgot to eat. Hahaha. I told him I’m hungry and he said he would bring me to this chinese Japanese restaurant nearby. (Cause I’m Chinese? Hahaha)
Chinese-Japanese ramen 😂He tried to take a picture of me
While we were eating, I saw Javier trying to take pictures of me. I got a little emotional and felt my tears welling up in my eyes. Cause I’m going back to Singapore in few days. I feel so confused what I am feeling. I have never felt happier in my life, I know what we have right now, this is special and once-in-a-lifetime kind of experience. I’m leaving Japan soon though..
We decided to go to a karaoke place and Javier was telling me the different usual places he goes to. We had to cross this bridge and I was in a mess trying to finish the matcha drink with whipped cream all over my mouth. Javier commented that I have something on my mouth and I teased him and said, “Oh? I like this look.” As I licked the cream off my face. He looked so shy and tickled hahaha.
We finally got to the karaoke, I wonder if I should pay for my share.. I usually go Dutch with the guy on first dates. But Javier paid upfront so I was like cool.
The karaoke room was very clean, not like those in Singapore. There were also party music instruments to make sounds in the room hahaha. Weird…. #japan right. I tried to find my usual pop songs on the system and when the music came up, I was like wtf? So apparently, due to copyright issues, the music videos are all performed by other singers and irrelevant to the songs. They took out the whole rapping part for “Love the Way You Lie”. Yes, that’s wrong right?!
Javier really wanted us to sing a duet together but I quickly realised we have very different tastes in music. (Maybe cause of our age? Or that we’re from different countries?) We could hardly find a song we could sing together. Hahaha. I sang Breakeven from The Script and Javier liked it. I felt very comfortable chilling with him, kinda felt like I was hanging out with someone I’ve known for a long time. I put my arms around his shoulders while he was singing.
Before I knew it, he held my face and put his lips on mine. I was shocked like what?! But wow.. his lips are so soft.. And then he put his tongue in my mouth and Gosh, his tongue is the softest tongue I felt. I felt myself melting into his arms. We.. made out. Hehe.
There was a lot of sexual tension in the room after that. & I definitely wanted more of him. Hahahaha! I even joked and said, “you gotta take care of me now.” (Meaning take care of my needs HAHA) After the karaoke session, he asked me, “Where do you wanna go next?” In my heart, I was thinking, your home please.. but I said, “I don’t know, where do you think is fun?” Then I think he gave me 2 options. One, go to his place which is nearby or two, go for a movie. I said I wanted the first. :3
As we walked out of the karaoke place, he held my hand! Gosh. Holding hands is something very intimate for me.. I don’t even allow my “special friends” (erhem you know) to hold my hands in public. Let alone this guy I just met! But… I kindda like that he is holding my hand.. I didn’t shake him off or say anything. My heart was swelling up inside though..
It was a nice morning, I was lazing in bed and enjoying the whole bed to myself. It was near noon when Javier texted me good morning. He sent me a picture of some stir-fried food that he made for breakfast. We arranged the time to meet up at Osaka Namba station. I told him I’m gonna take few hours to get there actually cause I wanna enjoy the slow morning. That’s the part of solo travelling that I love the most!
I put on music and was putting on makeup slowly. & off we go to Osaka! I got lost a little bit on the way to Namba station.. hehe. But Javier says not to worry since it takes him awhile to reach Namba station from where he stays too. When I was at the station, I started getting nervous. So I tried to make some small talks with Javier on text. There was this drunk girl that I saw at the platform, she was drunk early in the afternoon. Lol! Javier said he is gonna show me the place and explore around. & I teased him and said it’s naughty how he said to “explore around”. Hahaha.
We decided on the exit to meet cause Javier said there were multiple exits. I came up on the escalator & I saw him. He looked like a nice guy. We had awesome conversations and chemistry from last night. I have a nice feeling about him. The moment I laid my eyes on him, he looked away and avoided eye contact with me though.. whattt? Did he not see me..? Hmm. I walked towards him and he said hi. Okay, so he did see me but he is looking the other way. That’s quite rude. I felt confused first then I felt offended as he continued ignoring my presence throughout our interactions.
He cut through all the small talks and went straight to introducing me the area we were at. He went on with his spiel like a seasoned Osaka guide, “So this is a popular shopping district and this building is Takashimaya. I’ll be bringing you across the street and you will see another street that is…” Hang on a minute, did I pay for a tour guide or something..? Why is he walking so fast and why is he not looking at me. He seems very disinterested in me. There’s a great disparity between this and the nice enthusiastic conversations we had on the phone and text though… Oh well, whatever, we’ll see how it goes.
He brought me to a shopping mall that was supposed to be impressive and unique. I don’t really care for it. He kept walking very fast. So I told him to slow down and jokingly said he is acting like a tour guide. He replied with a stern face and tone, “Well, I majored in Asian studies, I might as well be a tour guide right.” Err, okay, he is very serious. Shrug.
I told him that I don’t really fancy the Malls that much since we are surrounded by shopping Malls where I come from. We probably combed through the whole building in less than 10 minutes given how fast we were walking lol! Then Javier brought me to this busy street, now I kindda love the vibes there and I was interested in walking around slowly. Javier, however, seemed to be in a rush, he was cutting through the crowd very quickly, explaining away as he does that. I quickly stopped him and said let’s find a spot to sit down and chat!
We were walking by a river stream by the busy food streets and we decided to stop at this mini bar stands to have a drink. I was so relieved that we were finally slowing our pace a little to have a break and to soak in the environment. I ordered a cocktail (even though I wasn’t supposed to have alcohol). That was the moment when we could sit down and have a real face to face conversation. We small-talked a little about Singapore and the weather there. We were people-watching and I brought up the topic about sex – an ice-breaker topic I was most comfortable with. I was feeling chill and decided to finish smoking my last stick of cigarette. I wasn’t smoking regularly but we have to try the Japanese sweet-flavoured cigarette when in Japan right! So I had a pack with me, the last stick left. The moment I took out the cigarette, I saw his disapproving look on his face. I was thinking, haha, he is someone who hates smoking. Oh well, who cares what he thinks, he already doesn’t seem to like me to begin with. Whatever~ it’s cool.
The whole time we were sitting by the river, I kept thinking that I want to pee. So I asked him if there is a restroom anywhere near. He said there’s a McDonald’s round the corner. So we up and left to the restroom. Now, after sitting down and chatting a little, I felt that he opened up to me more and he seemed more relaxed and no longer in that tour guide-mode (or less so anyway). The restroom was on the second level of the McDonald’s. It was so tight and squeezy. Javier didn’t need to pee, so I got him to hold on to my bag while I use the restroom. Somehow, I feel a weird relaxed feeling with him, I think I just felt very comfortable around him..
After that Javier asked me what I wanna do, I have no idea. Then he continued showing me around while we walked through the streets. We came to this place called the American street. He is walking so fast!! Slow down please. I was checking out the food at the stalls. & I saw this takoyaki food stall. Yummy! I stopped and I said I wanna try the mentaiko takoyaki. So I bought some and we sat in the small seating area in the store. There were many young Japanese teens talking loudly in the store. I don’t think I would sit in on my own if I was here alone. But Javier started talking to me and I immediately forgot that self-consciousness. We sat in these bar counter seats. I was very happy with my food, I love mentaiko!! Hehe. We talked a little bit about our interests (the typical question guys like to ask on first dates right. What do you like to do for fun?) I was a little stumped and said like I didn’t have any special interest but I liked learning sign language. He looked very interested. I think that was the first time I felt like he was keen in me or getting to know me.
Matcha drink @ American Street
We walked around a little more and I saw this place selling matcha drinks. I said I wanted one! So I queued up and got a fancy matcha drink. I was so excited and happy when I got my drink~ (Desserts make me happy!!) we stopped at the corner of the streets for awhile thinking where to go.. there were so many young people cosplaying around us.
Javier suggested to go sing karaoke. I was thinking, “Hmm. Do I wanna go karaoke with him?” I know it means that something sexual may happen, there’s no other reason for a guy to suggest going Karaoke on the first date haha! I kindda like him, I hesitated for awhile then I was like why not!
It was quite a scenic ride on the Shinkansen, felt shorter than 4hrs. Before I know it, I’m already at Kyoto. First impression upon reaching, I LOVE IT. The train platform was an open-air platform & I could see mountains from a distance away! I made my way to the apartment excited to catch some sleep! But the door to the apartment was not locked.. weird. I got a bad feeling about this. And indeed! The apartment was not made up at all, with dirty linen & towels thrown everywhere.. I was furious. I was feeling tired, sleepy & in desperate need for a bath & sleep. I left my backpack in the apartment, went downstairs and called the Airbnb owner demanding an explanation & a clean apartment. He said the apartment would be clean in 2 hours, told me to go wait around and that he was very apologetic. Seriously?
Sushi @ Kyoto
Oh well! I decided to go for lunch nearby the apartment and explore the neighbourhood a little bit. I went to the Starbucks to get a tiramisu drink and had sushi in a very quaint Japanese restaurant just across the street. T’was nice! 😋
The apartment was already ready when I was having my sushi. I went back to the made up apartment and finally took a shower and settled in. Javier the teacher replied me! We texted briefly, I told him I was gonna sleep and that I’ll talk to him later when I wake up. Cause I’m soooo sleeppyyyyy.. zzz
I had such a nice nap! Felt so well-rested! C: I was doing some laundry and started feeling a little hungry. It was around 9pm. There was supposed to be a Lawson few mins walk away from here but I couldn’t seem to find it on google map.. I remember I was talking to Javier on Tinder & decided to ask if he can help me on the directions.
I sent the location maps to Javier and he said he wants to call me to direct me to Lawson. I was taken aback.. But Javier says it’s safer for me to go around the streets at night speaking in English cause Japanese would be intimidated by it? Haha! I went around in circles for abit while Javier tried to guide me to the Lawson. I was bit nervous talking to him on the phone cause I didn’t know what to say. I was talking about whatever I saw on the streets and the stuff they were selling at the convenience store. For example, should I buy mayo you think? Hahaha. I got some bento dinner, salad, drinks AND mayo! When I got back to the apartment, I lost the reception and the call got cut off.
Javier sent me messages after that while I was heating up the food. He said, “I liked talking to you. You seem interesting and I would be Glad to meet you.” I was like what..? Was it a test to see if I was interesting enough to meet? Hahaha. He said he wanted to talk more. So we called and spoke on the phone again while I was eating. The call kept dropping and we kept calling. We had like 15 calls on and off cause of poor connection, chatted till midnight. Then we decided we should just text. We arranged to meet up the next day afternoon after he finished running some errand. I really enjoyed talking to him. He seemed like a nice gentleman. Before we went to sleep, he said he was horny.. and we kindda touched on the topic of sex. Hmm maybe I would hook up with him tomorrow? 😛
It was raining heavily that night, it was cold.. around 17 degree celcius. I love listening to the sounds of rain splattering on the window. I opened up the window and dozed off to the sounds.. C:
but I couldn’t help myself if I tried. 
A personal diary of my travel stories 